“In Africa we having a saying, 'If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." - African Proverb
Yale mathematician Benoit Mandelbrot tells the story of his father's daring escape from wartime Germany. There is a time for bold independence but it's not every day.Humans survived as social animals because we are poorly adapted physiologically for extreme environments. We don't have protective fur, much insulating fat, excessive speed, or threatening claws and teeth. Populations expanded via shared roles...hunting, gathering (food, firewood), shared child raising, clothing manufacture, shelter construction abetted by developing sophisticated brains. Independently, a small group had too much work and too few hands.
We can grow in both strength and resilience by adding life dimensions of MENTORING, a PERSONAL BOARD of DIRECTORS, and SELF-COACHING.
We can all find mentors. In Stronger, the authors tell the story of Donald Tyson, a troubled youngster who enlisted in the Navy at age 17. He quickly got into a problem with underaged drinking, but after punishment (without inclusion in his service record), rebounded with new commitment because a mentor gave him a chance. Remarkably, he became a Navy SEAL, although when he joined the Navy, he was unable to swim.
Our mentors don't even have to be alive. In A Game Plan for Life, Coach Wooden discusses his mentors, including not only former coaches, but Abraham Lincoln and Mother Teresa. When we learn from the people we meet (even through social media) and the books we read, that education can change our behavior. It can help erase bad habits and reinforce positive attitudes (see Jon Gordon's "The Positive Dog"), beliefs, and values.
In Players First, Coach John Calipari discusses his personal Board of Directors. He periodically meets with a small group of advisors/confidants and discusses life and choices. Few of us can always see "the other side of the trade."
We can become our own coach. Brett Steenbarger writes in The Daily Trading Coach, "It begins with you and what you want from your life. Trading, in this context, is more than buying, selling, and hedging: it is a vehicle for self-mastery and development." Great coaching flows from great sharing.
We should also avoid toxic personalities. When those around us thrive on envy, narcissism, negativity, and selfishness, we cannot reach our potential. Appreciation does not spring full-grown from psychologically-hazardous waste.
Take intelligent risk. Teddy Roosevelt said, “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”
'No Man is an Island'No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. MEDITATION XVII Devotions upon Emergent Occasions John Donne |