Hall of Fame players have begun as bench players, starring as the 'sixth man'. John Havlicek and Kevin McHale made that leap. James Harden has breached that challenge as well. But 'limited' players, for example Bruce Bowen, transitioned a role "three and D" into multiple championships.
Unhappiness soars when we magnify differences between expectations and reality. Spend a dollar on a lottery ticket, win a thousand? Eureka. Buy a new car and have it stall on the way home? Aarrgghh. And those emotions don't involve our strongest desires or our families.
First, many of us have unrealistic expectations. I'm not talking about setting extreme goals, but rather SMART ones (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely). Taking up jogging isn't the same as winning the Boston Marathon. Also, our family and friends may be in our ears fueling our fantasy. I've heard a parent tell a player, "you're just as good as she is, you can score just as much, get your shots." That's not helping.
"Just because I want you on the floor doesn't mean that I want you to shoot." - Bob Knight
As coaches, part of our job is defining roles and informing players about them. But that's not enough. A player needs to "know her role", embrace the role, and work to excel in that role. Coaches can facilitate that by praising players who fulfill their role, individually, to the team, and in the media when appropriate.
"It's the scoreboard, not the scorebook", that matters. Find a way to help the team succeed. Finding a niche as a dominant defender, an impactful rebounder, or outstanding distributor can earn a player outsized minutes. But coaches can't preach roles and play scorers at the expense of other skills. When we do, we're hypocrites. I'm not saying not to put players in who can make free throws when fouling strategies are in play or that defense alone win games.
"Shooters shoot, passers pass, and everyone plays defense." - Bob Knight
When you abandon your area of specialization, then you're cheating yourself and devaluing your teammates. We don't need or want cognitive dissonance (the emotional state where our reality and beliefs conflict). But if you want a bigger role in your business, school play, or sport, then you must become more. "Do more to become more; become more to do more."
