The ESPN 30 for 30 documentary about the 1988 Notre Dame versus Miami football game raises the question, "are you someone people want to root for?" Do you want to be?
If people won't root for you, what would you do to change that?
Our high school team (1973) would run through a wall for our coach. There wasn't coddling; there was caring, but plenty of correction. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to play for Coach Lane or not wanting him to succeed.
When REALITY meets PERCEPTION, which prevails? We have great industries (marketing) designed to define perception...flourishing because they understand human behavior and weakness. "You want the best for your child."
Carl Pierson shares great information in "The Politics of Coaching." For example, he uses Ralph Nader's line, “If you don’t turn on to politics, politics will turn on you”.Coaching always results in 'uneven happiness'. There's no way to distribute 'minutes' that satisfy every constituency. Some families will be unhappy because their child didn't make the team, others because of role dissatisfaction. I've heard a parent tell her daughter that she 'deserved' more shots.
Fairness ends up being relative, relative to perception. The senior displaced by an underclassman will often feel disenfranchised and unappreciated. Role assignment can worsen pre-existing judgments about your character, competence, or likability.
Koran Godwin shares wisdom he delivers to parents, "My number one goal was to show the parents that I love each and every one of the kids the same and that playing time has nothing to do with my personal views on a kid. I emphasize my will to develop them as young men and the lessons that they will learn over the next few months will prepare them for life."
If changing perception matters to us, then we must overcome mental hurdles about change, about fear. In The Kaizen Way: One Small Step Can Change Your Life, Robert Maurer discusses how to change via Kaizen, a Japanese term for continuous improvement.
He describes small steps:
1. Ask small questions.
2. Make small thoughts.
3. Take small actions.
4. Solve small problems.
5. Give small rewards.
Taking small, patient steps helps us to overcome psychological obstacles that prevent action. For example, instead of asking players to improve 'everything' we can ask, what one small area can I work on today? If we're teaching shooting...do we see players off balance, unprepared to shoot, without feet aligned, not following through, etc.?
If you want people to root for you, what little thing can you do differently today?