Life is twenty percent what happens to you and eighty percent how you handle it.
As coaches, our job is to take our team where they can't go by themselves. Winning comes as a result of the talent, the teaching, and the process.
But we're NOT here to make excuses.
Joshua Wooden taught his son John, "Don't whine, don't complain, don't make excuses."
Urban Meyer described 'below the line' behavior in his book Above the Line as "blame, complain, and defend."
Sometimes I'm stunned by what I hear from other coaches, both good and bad. One coach whom we upset a couple of years ago said (in the handshake line), "we would have beaten you if we made shots." Who would have guessed?
In another game, the opposing coach came up to me during the game, commenting on the officiating, "did you steal something from those guys? They're killing you." (The officials wanted cash before the game; I have nothing to do with their pay).
I know a Division I college referee (name withheld to protect the innocent) who told me that at some venues if you don't officiate the way the "Mr. Big Time Coach" wants, you'll never officiate another game in the building.
Other coaches work on managing expectations. "It's a rebuilding year." "We don't have much material." "I'm not getting enough support for the program." "We're in a really tough conference." You know the drill.
I recently told my team, "nobody should feel sorry for us. We're playing unselfishly, but we have to play harder and smarter." Results shouldn't affect our process.
You weren't happy with your grade. Did you study? Did you get help? Did you invest your time or spend it?
You're not making shots. Did you put in the time practicing? Are you working to get separation and get the ball in your spots? Do you have a plan to develop mental toughness?
What do great leaders do? They ask questions.
- What do I learn from this?
- How do I reinvent myself?
- Am I furious or curious? Why?
Forget about sorry.