Sebastian Junger is an author, journalist, and filmmaker. Why is this about basketball?
What we think we know and what we know aren't the same. "The colonel told me initially they take fire every single day...after two months of being there, I would fix it and we wouldn't get shot at anymore."
Junger shares his observations about challenging nature (The Perfect Storm), adversity (Fire), and conflict (Tribe, Restrepo). Restrepo is not for the timid; the outpost is grim, psychotic reality.
He spoke at a high school commencement (from Tools of Titans):
"You guys are programed to succeed. The hardest thing you're ever going to do in your life is fail at something, and if you don't start failing at things, you will not live a full life. You'll be living a cautious life on a path that you know is pretty much guaranteed to more or less work. That's not getting the most out of this amazing world we live in...you have to be prepared to fail. That's how you're going to expand yourself and grow."
On teamwork. In War, Junger wrote, “The Army might screw you and your girlfriend might dump you and the enemy might kill you, but the shared commitment to safeguard one another’s lives is unnegotiable and only deepens with time." Sports are not war; but culture and teamwork define your relationships.
On self-worth. He wrote in Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, “Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling necessary. Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary." We need to make players feel valued with defined roles.
On needs. Also in Tribe, “human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others." This reminds me of Dan Pink's triad in Drive, the need for autonomy, mastery, and purpose.
On inclusion. Again from Tribe, “Unlike criticism, contempt is particularly toxic because it assumes a moral superiority in the speaker. Contempt is often directed at people who have been excluded from a group or declared unworthy of its benefits. Contempt is often used by governments to provide rhetorical cover for torture or abuse. Contempt is one of four behaviors that, statistically, can predict divorce in married couples." Within our life teams (family, job, community), do we lead alongside team members or from above? Do we help create leaders and followership or are we detached and aloof? When communication excludes respect and fairness, there is no team. Without team, success never arrives.
How you play the game is how you live.