Never feel entitled to mistreat people. That includes all sorts of subordinates and strangers, to waitstaff, officials, and players. Do you really want to be dismissive? Officials deserve respect as important parts of the game. Most of the time they’re neither friend nor foe and have no agenda.
Consider Abraham Lincoln’s quote, “I don’t like that man. I need to get to know him better.” Opinions change according to our familiarity and openness with the facts.
Parts of character include curiosity and flexibility. As Churchill said, “When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, Madam?”
We model character for everyone we meet, but especially for our players. They learn verbal and non-verbal communication, and develop emotional intelligence and empathy as they are taught.
Be careful about verbal and written commitment and consistency. We are reluctant to violate our stated beliefs. J.D. Watson, co-discoverer of DNA famously was a racist. Only when he genome was sequenced, revealing 16 percent Africa DNA did he disavow that position.
Ideas become part of who we are. People get invested in their ideas, especially if they get invested publicly and identify with their ideas. So there are many forces against changing your mind. Flip-flopping is a bad word to people. It shouldn’t be. Within sciences, people who give up on an idea and change their mind get good points. It’s a rare quality of a good scientist, but it’s an esteemed one.”
-Daniel Kahneman“Seek understanding not validation.” We can’t change one thing. When Gordon Hayward returns, that changes minutes for temporary starters like Marcus Smart and especially for reserves. Will “losing” a few shots/game change the dynamic for Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum? If they pout or become selfish, then criticism of Brad Stevens escalates. It all returns to Chuck Daly’s - money (love), minutes, and shots mantra.
The same principles apply at every level, from the pumpkins to the professionals. When character and nature conflict, nature usually wins.