Someone joked that the motto of youth sports is, "making little girls cry every day." If that's true, it's not funny. Winning becomes our inner Ahab's white whale.
Playoffs drive more energy, more intensity. In youth sports, should they? Balancing winning and development produces cognitive dissonance. How much should winning matter?
When I first coached, I played everyone equally, until the end of the game. In close games, I asked, "do you want to win or to play everyone the same?" Players always answered, "we want to win."
The desire to win isn't a social disease; it's how we're wired. Winning is survival - family, food, shelter. Wikipedia shares, "Some studies have suggested that losses are twice as powerful, psychologically, as gains. Loss aversion was first identified by Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. Loss aversion implies that one who loses $100 will lose more satisfaction than another person will gain satisfaction from a $100 windfall."
What do kids learn from sport? Former NBAer John Amaechi, “Sport teaches what we want it to teach,” he said. “If you want it to teach about teamwork you can teach that through sports. If you want it to teach about social justice it can. "
Here's a quote from ESPN the Magazine, "From psychologists to orthopedists, educators to parents, the experts claim that the professionalization of youth sports -- the year-round schedule, the private training, the early specialization -- is ruining our nation's youth. Meanwhile, the kids themselves say in no uncertain terms that the professionalization of youth sports is precisely why they love doing what they do." Is it success that breeds happiness?
Every coach meets dissatisfied parents, without exception. Braintree's Kristen McDonnell quit despite winning multiple state championships. A Braintree parent explained, "“Some of them just aren’t happy unless their daughter is playing a central role on the court,” Herlihy said. “There was discontent with the girls playing time, attention one would get as the star of the team, and awards that were given.”
Those feelings are easily understood in context of the financial, time, and emotional commitment parents make. "Winning" is personal, starting in our living rooms and driveways.
Summary:
- Winning becomes our inner Ahab's white whale.
- Balancing winning and development produces cognitive dissonance.
- Winning is survival - family, food, shelter.
- Losses are twice as powerful psychologically as gains
- "Sport teaches what we want it to teach."
Lagniappe: 2000 points, 1000 rebounds, 1000 assists
Lagniappe 2: From the Playbook
PnR cross-screen