Thursday, December 3, 2020

Basketball: Kindergarten Wisdom, Dear Sugar, and Coaching the One in a Million


Coaches have the same problems. Whether we coach sixth graders or professionals, the problems are the same. But they're different, too, as my dad would say, "small children, small problems. Bigger children, bigger problems.

"ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody."

- Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten


"Tommy won't play with me" becomes "Billy won't pass the ball." "Jimmy's eating all the cookies" becomes "I'm not getting my touches and my shots." 

NPR interviewed author Cheryl Strayed who shares an advice column, Dear Sugar. 

STRAYED: When we boil it down, we only have really about five or six problems (laughter). I mean, honestly, I could take all of those letters and divide them into about six buckets. 

And so, you know, I do see that - you know, not just the pattern or the kinds of problems we have with family, with romantic partners, with children, with work, with ourselves, with those voices in our heads that say we're not enough or we can't - you know, those are the kinds of problems that come up over and over again.

I find it far more uncomfortable to turn away from the difficult emotions than I do to turn toward them.

Our teams are our extended family. And every family struggles. There's no Don Meyer to write for advice. Crowdsourcing advice helps. Better, find mentors. 

We struggle with egocentrism. "Egocentrism refers to someone's inability to understand that another person's view or opinion may be different than their own." When a parent tells me they don't like our offense, the message is, "I'm unhappy with my child's minutes, role, and shots." That doesn't make him wrong. 

At our best, find solutions in our courtly classrooms, like Fulghum did. 

Share everything. Model excellence. Get everyone on the same pageAdd value. 

Play fair. Create opportunity. Develop everyoneMake sportsmanship matter.

Clean up your own mess. Clear the clutter in your mind. Leave the gym better than you found it. 

Lagniappe: "Tactics are what you do when there is something to do; strategy is what to do when there is nothing to do." - Garry Kasparov   For many of us, we have nothing to do, so study and plan for when we have something to do. 

Lagniappe 2: Art imitates life. Lessons from Ted Lasso (Apple TV)