Thursday, December 9, 2021

Becoming a More Emotionally Intelligent Coach and Recognize that Screening Creates Defensive Errors

Soft skills matter. Both intelligence (IQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ) matter.

What is emotional intelligence? Daniel Goleman writes:

We define Emotional Intelligence (or EI) as the ability to:

  • Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions and;
  • Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others. 
It blends emotional self-assessment, empathy, and influence. Chuck Daly said, "I'm a salesman," but also meant "I'm a psychologist." That means understanding people's feelings and goals to help them function better. 

Players have varying levels of self-esteem (ego), confidence, neediness, emotional lability, and resilience. Connect to communicate. 

Harvard Business School Online recommends we develop skills at:

1. Self-assessment

  • "Know thyself." Everyone has emotional needs and triggers. Our insecurities affect our responses to criticism or to an indifferent or resistant player.  Our lives (family, work, health) impact our judgment and responses. Lacking expertise in some areas. Abraham Lincoln assembled a Team of Rivals to help him navigate the Civil War after his election. Doris Kearns Goodwin shares, "What he had going for him, which I think is so unusual in political life, is that he had a set of emotional strengths that today we might call emotional intelligence."

2. Self-regulation

  • Control the timing and content of our response. Recall the "24 hour rule" of delaying responses and Abraham Lincoln's "Hot Letters" that were never signed and never sent. Mindfulness training helps widen the space between trigger and response. Players will not win humbly or lose graciously when we can't. 

3. Empathy

  • Empathy allows us to view a situation from the other's perspective. Loss of minutes, status, and recognition affect everyone. 
  • Having authority while understanding our choices impact players presents a regular challenge. 
  • Coaching children demands that we recognize they are children lacking experience with failure, magnified by immaturity. 

4. Motivation

  • The best motivation is intrinsic (self-directed). Coaches search for ways to motivate players to seek excellence on and off the court. Players see how we model behavior. Model preparedness to encourage it. "Be the change."

5. Social skills

  • Our communication is verbal and non-verbal. Everyone perceives feedback differently. Coach John Wooden emphasized "sandwich technique" of correction between praise. And Rod Olson discussed Speaking Greatness using care in choosing our words. Too often we hear of coaches tuning out players or calling them worthless or saying "you're only useful to me on the court." 
Be the adult in the room.

Lagniappe. Anticipation. We've all seen situations where we "knew" what the opponent would do - a five-out where we saw "dribble at" and called "watch the back cut." Or a 2-3 zone where we "read" the top players hungry to trap the ballhandler. 


Adam Spinella shares how Brad Stevens anticipated a staggered screen and changed defenders. 

Lagniappe 2. Jeff Capel on "Greatness" 

Lagniappe 3. Capitalize on defensive errors. Another slip to score. The "switch everything" mentality creates mistakes. 

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