Coach and communicate according to our experience and personality. I shared this letter to parents a few years ago to explain my coaching rationale.
Hi.
Several players got fewer minutes than usual yesterday and I take full ownership for playing time. Deviation from expectations triggers strong emotions.
1. We were playing to win yesterday, with the goal of getting a better seed to AVOID A MIDWEEK PLAY-IN game at the Millworks. Obviously, I didn't clarify that to the group and that's my fault. And we didn't achieve the desired results.
2. Coaches have told me repeatedly that having thirteen players is too many, because it pressures playing time, individual instruction, and makes people unhappy. Also, it puts teams at competitive disadvantage when other teams have 8 or 9 players and no "bottom of the roster." I own that, too, and don't regret for a second that decision because it's for the good of the entire program (including high school). But yesterday was one of the few days that we had 13, so that makes substitution harder.
3. Even when we practice press-breaking (usually advantage-disadvantage 5 vs 7 or 5 vs 8), some players struggle with decision-making or execution... exactly the reason to practice. All of us revert to old habits (often too much dribbling, not enough passing). Practice and the off-season grind are vital to becoming successful players. "Repetitions make reputations."
4. Why is playing time uneven? The goal is to prepare players for high school and in some instances, college basketball. Offseason participation (those Tuesday and Sunday sessions) was totally voluntary and discretionary. Players have other commitments to family, other sports, other endeavors. That's great. But higher commitment often gets rewarded, just as I'm sure that players who devote extra time to soccer, dance, music, drama or other activities see more progress and bigger roles.
5. Having been around the game for 55 years, I've experienced frustration at every level, from elementary school, to high school and college sports, and coaching and parenting of athletes. When one of my daughters was a high school sophomore, a starter was hurt, and she filled in against the top Melrose rival, scored sixteen points, leading the team to victory. She played two minutes the next game. Or being a walk-on in a D1 college athletic program and virtually never playing, regardless of the score.
I get it. I call it the PRIME DIRECTIVE, that each of us as parents, must advocate for our child. And if you don't, who will? Support your children without reservation; they need and deserve that.
I have a patient who coached high school teams to multiple state titles and has a daughter playing a D1 sport in an elite program. The college coach asked why he wasn't complaining about his daughter's playing time. He said, "because I'm a coach, not THE coach."
Coaches tell me there are three levels of commitment - the fully committed, the "enjoy participating," and the "want to be on the team." I will never tell anyone that basketball is important or meaningful to a successful future. Your family, belief system, and school dwarf basketball in terms of importance.
I take full responsibility for the decision-making associated with every aspect of the team. And I make flawed or worse decisions every game, every practice. I'm a fan of all of your girls as people and will help to promote their success in whatever way I can. Coach Hirschfeld and other coaches were at the game yesterday, and they care about the success and development of your girls, too.