Wednesday, September 21, 2022

"The Four Agreements" - Don't Make Assumptions, Plus Basketball Movement Drills

"The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz provides a simple template for self-improvement. I've previously shared the first, "Be impeccable with your word." 

The third agreement is "Don't make assumptions." This works off the cognitive bias of "Fundamental attribution error." This says that we often judge others based on presumptions about character and judge ourselves according to circumstance. 

 Think how this could 'show' at practice or in games.

  • Susie is always late for practice. She doesn't care. Susie depends on parents for a ride. She has no control over this. 
  • Mary isn't giving great effort at practice. She doesn't care. She stayed up late working on school work. Or she has minor injuries, illness, or is having her period. 
  • Joan isn't a team player. She's selfish. Joan is being bullied in school. Joan has an unstable home situation. 
Oklahoma coach Sherri Coale shared a story from her team about girls confronting a player, "you're not happy unless you're scoring." The girl broke down and said that her father wouldn't talk to her unless she was playing well, including scoring. 

Relationships come first. We need to see inside players' lives. We only learn that by better communication with players. 

Ruiz says, "Assumptions are nothing more than lies that we are telling ourselves. This creates a big drama for nothing, because we don’t really know if something is true or not."

"If we don’t make assumptions, we can focus our attention on the truth, not on what we think is the truth."

Summary:
  • Human nature leads us to make assumptions. 
  • Assumptions are "short cuts."
  • We expect the benefit of the doubt but often don't give it.
  • Improved relationships give us information to access the truth. 
  • Getting the truth helps us avoid making bad judgments. 
Lagniappe. Find 'guys' who put winning first.

Lagniappe 2. Coleman Ayres teaches basketball movement. We've often started practice, "dribbling the lines." 

 

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