Saturday, May 20, 2023

Empower Yourself by Letting Go and Becoming More (Sunday Double Bonus)

Overcome our 'wiring' by learning new skills. Explain. 

Think critically. We're wired to believe what we hear and what we see. Danny Kahneman explains that in Thinking Fast and Slow. System 1 (reflexive) keeps us safe. Hear a noise in the brush. Danger! Run away and live to fight another day. System 2 is our 'think it through' (reflective system). Diagnose the best way to handle this problem, relationship, or challenge. Both are necessary but neither is sufficient. 

Handling pressure is more System 1. System 1 responds to training to help us recognize and respond quicker. 

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Let it go. There's an old joke in our family about Irish Alzheimer's. "You forget everything except the grudges." You think you've be wronged or slighted and you won't forgive or forget. Living through grievances is no way to live. Be humble in victory and gracious in defeat. 

Widen the space. Widen the time and space between being 'provoked' and responding in kind. Mindfulness helps by strengthening the brain's thinking and memory centers and lessening the amygdala, the brain's 'quick reaction force'. Use the '24 hour rule' to avoid harmful counterpunching and remember Lincoln's "hot letters" that he 'never signed, never sent'. 

Put the team first. Human nature says, "I, me, mine." Remember Chuck Daly's "NBA players want 48 minutes, 48 shots, $48 million" quote and that many basketball and parental conflicts arise from the Hoop Holy Trinity of "minutes, role, and recognition." Work to overcome "me first" thinking and promote team over self. 

"Share something great." Be a sharer. Make Phil Jackson's quote, "Basketball is sharing" a priority. Basketball thrives in the public domain. Celebrate the great sharers like Kevin Eastman, Mike Neighbors, Don Meyer, and others. 


"Celebrate other's wins." Sometimes we picture ourselves as followed by the black cloud of Joe Btfsplk. "Nothing good ever happens for me." Feeling joy for the good fortune of others gets reflected back upon us. 

Don't wallow in misery when joy is out there. 

Lagniappe. Hat tip Dave Edwards. 

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