Tuesday, May 30, 2023

The Good Loser

I came across a box of cards in my office called TableTopics Family. The last card asks, “What makes a good loser and are you one?”

“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.” Competing with grace and humility matter. Some of the harshest critics I know never won anything. 

Losses dispense lessons. We all lose. We lose loved ones, fail at relationships, in the workplace, and on the court. Good losers leave with valuable questions and better solutions. 

  • Was I physically and mentally prepared?
  • What went well?
  • Where did I not do well enough?
  • What could I do better next time?
  • Did I compete?
Although he eventually won a pair of National Titles, Dean Smith said that he never felt like a loser prior to winning one.

Be a worthy opponent. Prepare and practice well, compete, and bring our best version to the court. Years ago our seventh grade girls played the top team in the league, whose players won the state championship in the top division in Massachusetts this winter. We lost 47-43 in a hard fought game. After the game, the girls said that the Andover parents told them they competed harder than any other opponent that season. For me, that game was the highlight of our season. 

Good losers don't give games away. Good losers can be beaten but not defeated. Good losers do not quit. 

Teddy Roosevelt gave a speech in France in 1910 called "The Man in the Arena." 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Summary: 
  • What makes a good loser and are you one?
  • Losses dispense lessons. Learn.
  • Ask better questions.
  • Never feel like a loser.
  • Be a worthy opponent. Compete.
  • Good losers can be beaten but not defeated.
  • Good losers do not quit.
  • Earn the respect of the Man in the Arena.
Lagniappe. 



 


at