The book The Courage to Be Disliked shares unconventional wisdom. For example, instead of asking "why did she do that?," the authors suggest asking, "What is this behavior accomplishing?"
I don't remember ever asking that question.
Let's assemble a few possible situations:
1. Backup point guard "dominating the ball..."
The established starter was the star, an unquestioned elite player. The "why" could be seen as selfish or at least self-serving in the "dog marking territory" sense. Perhaps the motivation was just, "I want to be in the conversation, too."
2. Young player "jacking up shots" like there's no tomorrow...
The behaviors made no sense in the context of either the offense or the hierarchy. Perhaps the statement was (before correction by the coach), "I've always played this way and I'm not stopping now." The response was, "This is not your team."
3. Another ball-dominant player embarked on 'extreme usage.'
The coach preached "teamwork" from day one. The coach couldn't understand the behavior. She removed the player from the game and made her point, "That is not how we play." She got the coach's attention and received immediate feedback.
4. A young player seemed skittish on the court.
All the players were young (maybe 12) and one wonderful kid seemed timid and deferential beyond what I had seen. I approached the mom and said, "Your daughter looks afraid, physically afraid of the size of the opposition." The mom answered, "She is." Sometimes, behaviors aren't anti-team, they're self preservation.
5. An elite player with 30 points as the third quarter ended, was signaled out by the coach as he prepared for his second free throw. He calmly took the ball at the stripe, slammed it off the backboard and walked off.
The player, a future D1 talent, was obviously perturbed by being removed.
I don't know if any college coaches were in the building. If so, he signaled to them, "I am a great player...and a headache." Was the message to his coach, "I am big time, I don't need you?"
Few young players are physically or emotionally mature. Working to understand "deeper messaging" behind their actions might help us. Emphasis on contribution to the team, the 'community', can help some people think less about themselves first and work to add value to the group.
Lagniappe. Track "kills." I've worked off the 3-7-2 rule. Three consecutive stops, seven times a half, two halves will equal a win.
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