The good news, comparatively speaking, is that we haven't heard of a parental basketball homicide by another parent. This might be surprising, considering the "life or death" atmosphere surrounding winning in youth sports.
Everyone likes to win. But is winning at all costs, or at any cost, worth it?
I played on the losing side in a Navy base championship game. A defensive player on the winning side "suckered" the officials into calling an offensive foul by pulling an offensive player (by the shirt) into him on an inbounds play. They won on that possession. I don't teach my players to do that, but teach them NOT to let someone do that to them.
What constitutes cheating? It's not always black-and-white. We've had a number of players injured by moving screens over the years. I really can't know whether a coach of a well-coached team is oblivious to screening rules. But when I see sophisticated offenses blended with moving screens, I wonder what's coached.
Playing your best players most of the time certainly isn't cheating or unethical. In developmental sports, you might argue that you're developing the better players or you're shortchanging others who sacrifice their time (and parents' money). I am NOT discussing varsity sports, where winning is clearly the object.
Clock management is important in most sports...but some timekeepers take it more seriously than others, running off or adding (not starting time) seconds. How much of an issue is it? I don't know, because I'm too busy coaching.
Probably the biggest issue is officiating. I spoke with one coach last season before the game who told me to "expect bad officiating." He didn't mean one-sided officiating, just bad officiating. He told me that he had been at one game where a player was playing 'gorilla ball' but not getting called for fouls. Apparently, after the game, she drove home with the ref (allegedly her uncle). Nice. I am told that one team in our league has their officials on the program Board of Directors. Man, they are tough at home. I got warned for complaining about a (no travel) call when a player went to the floor with the ball. When the officials talk with the home parents during the game, you know what you're going to get.
None of the games we lost last season were decided by officiating. Some of the games we won were miracles in face of home officiating. I don't want the benefit of the doubt; I want consistency and fairness...home or away.
The biggest gray areas include "excessive physicality" (short of outright dirty play) and theatrics (simulating fouls and charges). I'm not sure where the boundary is on the former and I'm sometimes in awe of the latter. We have to rely on officials to do a difficult job and most of the time they are doing their best.
Call me old-fashioned but I want the games decided by the quality of the players and how they play. I'm not interested in winning by cheat and deceit. The worst part of that is the poor lesson it teaches your team and we are in the instruction business.