"If charity means giving, I give it to you..."
Why are you coaching? If you coach to feed your ego, to win at all costs, and require constant validation, then this message is for you.
Chef Thomas Keller (The French Laundry) shares that cooking is about ingredients and execution. Get the best ingredients, learn the proper techniques from glazing to braising, and execute, execute, execute. Simple?
Limit your roster size. Select no more than eight players. Play fewer less skilled, less athletic, less experienced players, AND those on the team will get more playing time. Your number eight player goes against my twelve. Win-win! I bow to your genius.
Play your best lineup as much as possible. Comedian Steve Martin says, "always bring your best stuff." Numbers six through eight will be grateful just for making your team. Sure.
Get the most shots for your best players. They don't give the same number of bullets to everyone in a war, do they? Don't worry if a few kids feelings get hurt.
Get as much practice time as possible. Train your little warriors with two or three times as much practice time as the next coach (like me).
Don't give the players too much freedom. They won't like that, but you've already decided to make it about you, so control the controllable. You're building a statue not a program.
Schedule wisely. Be careful not to schedule too aggressively. It's one thing to hurt kids feelings, but never yours.
Constantly work the officials. "The world needs referees." These guys and gals get paid, even to take your abuse. As long as you get the calls, don't worry, be happy. An NCAA D1 official told me there are some venues that won't have you back unless the calls go their way. Remember that. If you can get your friends to officiate, do it.
Color outside the lines. If you can manipulate the timekeeper when you're losing, do it.
Play multiple zone defenses. Young players struggle with new concepts and can't shoot well from the perimeter. When coaching snowflakes complain, just say, "nobody stops you from playing zone." And if you're losing late, demand that the other team attack the zone instead of holding the ball out. "Why won't you play basketball?" The other coach will appreciate your basketball savvy.
"Leave no doubt." Run it up. Show them who's boss. Up twenty-five with eight minutes to go? Keep pressing, keep the hammer down with your best lineup. Show that you know how to grind the other team into dust. There's no crying in basketball.
Encourage trash talk and chippiness. "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." What are a few elbows and moving screens among friends? Injuries? NBA - no babies allowed.
Operate like covert agencies. "I know nothing of that." "Talk to the program director if you have questions." Minimize transparency. Nobody should ever question you. Ever.
Never win with humility or lose graciously. Be authentic. If you lose, blame the conditions, the referees, bad bounces, anything. "If we'd made shots, we'd have beaten you." I really enjoyed hearing that. "Yessir, I understand it's all about you."
But, but...you're describing a nightmare, a dystopian basketball universe. Tell me that you haven't seen everything above. I have.
Lagniappe: Coach Daniel shows how GSW uses screens and slips to open long-range bombers. We don't have shooters who can make them, c'est la vie.
Lagniappe 2: Horns backdoor from @HalfCourtHoops. Sell it!
Lagniappe 3: from Adam Grant, Give and TakeCSKA Moscow Horns Backdoor pic.twitter.com/iTrnUKgzEX— Half Court Hoops (@HalfCourtHoops) August 3, 2019
"See success in terms of making significant, lasting contributions to a broad range of people." If our players experience family, career, and life success after they've left our orbit, then we're making a difference.
