First instincts are great signs of great leaders. Calm or panic, give or always want for self, help others or take care of self, address the problem or let it fester? The former are great instincts for great leaders in sports or the corporate world.
"Impossible is a word only found in the dictionary of fools." - Young Sherlock Holmes
Coaches have no magic words - only helpful ones that encourage remembering concepts. Find a few to make your own. "It takes patience to elevate the humble but motivated player."
There are no more powerful lessons than losses.
“Turnovers kill dreams.”
— recurring basketball principle emphasizing possession value. An extension of one of the Four Factors. Excellent teams do not give away games.
“Scores and stops.”
— concise framing of winning possessions and productive players. Another phrase encompasses, "Stops make runs." Still another version uses 3-7-2, three consecutive stops (a kill), seven times per half, for two halves. You can't succeed by playing "one end" of the court.
“Every day is player development day.” - Dave Smart
— encapsulates core developmental philosophy. Talent is king. Don Meyer's question was, "Do you want two better plays or two better plays?" Every excellent player needs individual attention.
“The Standard is the Standard.”
— cultural expectation independent of roster/year. "Legacy programs" leave the organization in a better place. Without values and standards, sustained success is impossible.
“Coaches don’t set lineups. Players do.”
— Seek socially portable lines. Players conveniently hold coaches responsible for shortcomings. Reality is Bill Parcells' "Coaches are the most selfish people in the world, wanting players that make us look good." Charles Barkley asked, "What is your NBA skill?" What gets you minutes, role, and recognition?
“Discipline determines destiny.”
— What is our foul-discipline?. Fouls often convert opponent possessions to high points per possession chances. Don't convert a bad opponent possession into free throws.
“Don’t give away points.”
— Possession efficiency is king. So many games reveal themselves as one team scoring "easily" and the opponent struggling. There is but one outcome to these.
“The game reveals itself to those who study.”
— A teaching/scouting ethos shows up on the court. The teams that do not learn from mistakes are consigned to the scrapheap of history. When players have little "situational experience" they make hesitant or poor decisions. “Production is the scorecard.”
— Meritocracy/performance show up on the scoreboard. Making others around a player better won't always in the scorebook. Screening, blocking out, getting 50-50 balls, help and recover defense, communication, and other vital skills only matter to winning. “The best players make the team.”
— This is not a union job. “There is no seniority system.” Who is most hurt by politics? Players. “Basketball is sharing.” - Phil Jackson
— This integrates into every coach's teaching language and framing. Wooden said, "Happiness begins where selfishness ends." It dovetails with the "Deadly S's" that destroy teams - selfishness, softness, and sloth (laziness). “Put people in position to succeed.”
— Leaders create leaders" and "Results reflect leadership. An old quote says, "An army of asses led by a lion can defeat an army of lions led by an ass." “Leading isn’t about getting our way, but finding the best way.”
— This reflects principles of many coaches, especially Bill Walsh. Finding better ways often accompanies excavation - reading, study, watching clinics, or attending another coach's practice.
“If it looks like a foul, officials will call it."
- Certain actions don't always foul but will get called. Reaching in, hacking down (especially blocking shots), and bodying opponents gets attention - not in a good way.
Players may say, "I know, I know" after making mistakes. If they know, then why continually repeat them - bad shots, missed assignments, driving or passing into traffic? This saying applies - "One mistake, bad play. Two mistakes, bad player. Three mistakes, bad coaching."
Lagniappe. "Pain is pain."
I promise you there isn’t a better Celtics account for this type of content.
An NBA team needs to hire Nik asap. It’s a detriment to the league that he’s not working in a coach’s room right now. https://t.co/iIH1trfd8N
*Information adapted from Amir Levine's MasterClass on connection. Although designed for "relationships," there's obvious overlap with coaching.
"Never be a child's last coach."
Everyone wants safety and security in life.
Coping strategies impact our physical and mental performance. And it's not a plea for equal playing time, but attention to psychology.
Some readers will just say, "BS, I'm out." Others seeking higher performance teams, read on.
Connection Strategies
Connection begins before we're verbal...as studies have shown parent-child interactions vary greatly during early life.
Major strategies are:
Security (about half of people)
Avoidance (a quarter)
Anxiety (another quarter)
Science: Brain volume versus energy
The brain comprises about two percent of our mass but consumes 20 percent of our energy. The brain isn't good at shifting from "vigilance" (safety) energy use to "creativity and performance" in the prefrontal cortex.
Scientists learned that test subjects perform better (consume less energy) when performing hard tasks with trusted contacts than with strangers.
Sports application: Teamwork saves energy.
Exclusion - The Cyberball Experiment
Serious adverse effects also occur with social exclusion.
Screenshot from MasterClass (highly recommended)
When one player becomes excluded, brain imaging shows enhanced areas related to pain, distress, and self-scrutiny light up. People sense loss of control and reduced self-esteem. "Why aren't they passing to me?" You're not sensitive, you're human.
Examples
It shows up with relationship changes with a new pet, a new baby, or in sports, with new teammates and role changes. Being consistent, available, and responsive reduce those feelings.
Sports: minutes or role reduction can result in players acting out.
Still Face Experiment
You can have exclusion with only two people. If a mother and baby are filmed and interacting normal, there's attention and smiling. When the mother is asked to turn around and turn back with a still face...there is a dramatic change. Distress occurs, agitation, and then crying. When the mother repeats the sequence and re-engages, distress resolves.
When coaches stop coaching a player, "putting her in the doghouse," taking away reps or playing time, the same psychological response occurs. This is the coaching version of "ghosting." The "relationship homeostasis" gets disrupted.
Sports application: Secure people do not usually "ghost." Coaches with big doghouses usually have their own issues.
The Need for Closure
This is a form of the brain trying to maintain connection. The "Need for Closure" is in a sense, a trick of our brain trying to keep a relationship alive. T. Swift sang about this:
Maintaining and Improving Connection
Author Amir Levine advises 'hyperinclusion'. Small interactions, availability, and "coaching" re-establish safety. He advises CAARP -
Levine advises forming a "Secure Village," because it's unreasonable to expect one person to meet all our emotional needs. Within a team, assistants, captains, and teammates all fill valuable roles.
Sports: Create a culture of inclusion.
Practical Strategies
Greet every player daily. Small but inclusive. This helps 'dial down' the detachment alarm system.
Explain that playing time is not equal to value. The reserve player who works to improve, competes at all times, and is never a distraction adds value.
Avoid figurative or literal 'ghosting'. Close the doghouse.
Team building activities like group reading.
Open communication lines. Reminders about networking (don't hesitate to ask for letters of recommendation).
Recognize reserves. Dean Smith made it a point to credit role players who impacted winning. Stars always get noticed.
The "safety bubble" coaches create helps our physical, immune, and emotional status by stress reduction.
As coaches, we want to either "turn off" or "turn down" the alarm system that changes in player status or relationships can project. Fear consumes bandwidth and connection frees it.
Players play best when correction does not threaten connection.
Summary:
Relationships are complex. We seek safety and security and can fall short with avoidance or anxiety.
Experiments validate this with either the Cyberball Experiment or Still Face Experiment, where figurative "ghosting" occurs.
Exclusion produces predictable angst and loss of self-esteem.
Healthier connections result in better physical and emotional health.
Relationship awareness and CARRP can "tone down" emotional alarms.
Lagniappe. (Via AI)
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment:First published in 2010 and translated into over 42 languages, the book has sold more than 3 million copies and offers a framework for understanding why relationships succeed or fail based on three distinct attachment styles:
Secure: Individuals who are comfortable with intimacy, warm, and loving.
Anxious: Individuals who are often preoccupied with their relationships and worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
Avoidant: Individuals who equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
Lagniappe 2. Set the example.
DAMIAN LILLARD ON ACCOUNTABILITY
“I make sure that I’m on time to the gym. I get there early. I make sure I’m the most coachable. That shows I am accountable for myself, now I can hold other guys accountable.”
"People by and large become what they think about themselves." = Dr. Bob Rotella in Golf Is Not a Game of Perfect
As many readers are young people, choose to become the person you want to become. Do you want to become a boss or a leader? Answering that question escapes some in leadership roles.
Overlap can occur, but what separates leaders from bosses?
Leaders inspire as they prioritize team development. They make every decision with the best interest of the team as their "North Star." Brad Stevens says, "What does our team need now?"
They consider how planning, preparation, practice, and decisions impact both the well-being of the team and the development of individuals.
When done well, leadership creates something that people want to become a part of. The whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts. Training and decisions become "force multipliers."
In ancient Rome, a position existed called "anteambulo," literally meaning "walking in front of." They helped smooth the path for those who followed. Another expression relates to "finding canvases for others to paint on." Coaches put players and teams in a position to succeed in sport and later in life.
In Adam Grant's book, Give and Take, he describes personal styles as givers, matchers, and takers. If you only give, you will exhaust yourselves. The people who do best are "ambitious givers."
It's not all sunshine and roses as leaders must make difficult decisions, "Sophie's Choice" and navigate hard conversations.
Developing leadership is a choice.
Lagniappe. Conceptual teaching.
Quin Snyder discussing the role scouting plays in conceptual basketball.
Most teams switch the 1st and 3rd against 3 man actions.
We are more sheeplike than we want to believe. Experiments prove this when people are shown different colored cards. Four observers are shown four blue cards and we call them blue. But then if we're shown a red card and the first three (planted) subjects call it "orange", we have a high likelihood of caving and calling it orange.
It's not "bullying" in the classic sense but "going along."
As coaches, some seek "a better way" realizing there may not be a best way, while others grasp "my way or the highway."
If ten coaches tell us that preteens should spend most of their time on three point shooting, do we go along or dissent?
Controversy appears on other matters - shot clocks, zone defense for youth, traditional drills versus innovative, block practice versus random practice, the amount of scrimmaging, and so on. Courage won't always apply to an argument or a behavior. If the majority in Missouri say, "show me" about shot clocks, that's a matter of taste.
There's cognitive bias working, too. We fall victim to the fundamental attribution error when we blame others based on character or competence where in a similar circumstance we argue that decisions or results followed the situation. "He's not that good a coach" becomes "nobody could win with my players."
Courage is personal. Our coaching role, mentors, and approach depend on circumstances.
Lagniappe. Do our people may match our pace.
EVERYONE LOVES PLAYING WITH PACE
As I do my annual deep dive in to players and team stats from this past year, here are some thoughts I’ve had about Pace
1. Doesn’t matter how fast you play offensively if you can’t guard at that Pace defensively
Tony Bennett shares a masterclass on humility and why most people get it wrong.
"When we talk to our young men about what humility means, it's twofold and sometimes it's not what you think."
"Don't think too highly of yourself. If you wanna turn people off, walk around… pic.twitter.com/9YuM0MxZ4A
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) April 9, 2026
"The only way to move ahead becomes to leave the past behind."
Everyone has practices or games beset with failure. In soccer, you feel as though you have "two left feet" or in baseball you're "wild in the strike zone" (throwing fat pitches) or "overmatched" at bat.
Excellent players learn from losses and move on, applying operational wisdom forced by failure. Bad shots, turnovers, and fouls are part of everyone's history. Move on.
Three Primary Tests
"Always do your best."
"Make everyone around you better."
"Impact the game." (Give the game what it needs.)
The latter two are the most important metrics of success. Complementary players are often integral to success by defending, limiting mistakes, and facilitating teammates' success with communication and good decisions.
Passing the Tests
Attention to detail in preparation and play
Play in the moment. "Next play."
Serve the team. Do what is in the best interest of others.
Sweating the Small Stuff
Ask "What does our team need now?"
Learn to refocus or 'reset' (key words - this play, or "take a breath.")
Communicate to inform and energize teammates.
Some players have the character and competence to dominate play for stretches. Others "recruit" teammates in the moment to raise the level of team play...the "mouth in the house." Being a vocal leader is a superpower, too.
A player doesn't need double digit scoring, reams of rebounds, or armies of assists to earn trust and get on the floor. But they have to contribute something positive. Impact the team. Impact winning.
Lagniappe. Department of redundancy department. Award yourself athleticism. When you walk onto the court at tryouts, two abilities stand out - skill and athleticism. They're the "wow factor."
Lagniappe 2. When completing the sentence, "Basketball is a game of ________ , what first comes to mind? Understanding the implied symmetry, "Basketball is a game of separating and finishing. Defenses seek to prevent separating and finishing. Add to your toolbox.
Same hand/same foot finish is arguably the best (and most valuable) finish in basketball
✅ Throws of the shot blockers timing ✅ Quick off the ground — especially when you scoop ✅ Eliminates the last step to beat the help defender ✅ Unpredictable pic.twitter.com/iaCXhcNVtD
Fragility is real. Nassim Taleb wrote Antifragility, which discusses systems that improve under stress.
Teams struggle with fragility - fatigue, injury, mismatched parts. The long season exposes most. Ray Dalio compares it to evolution.
Evolution is 'antifragile' because it "rewards" organisms able to adapt to their environments.
Basketball is literally not the same game created by Naismith. Rules changes, player development, strength and conditioning, injury and load management - everything changes.
Arguments exist that even postseason basketball is not the same as regular season basketball. The intensity is high and the game is officiated differently.
AI can provide some clarity:
“Price makes news” a market term applied to officiating
Fans say:
“Refs are letting them play”
But what’s actually happening:
Players play more physically
Contact increases
Fouls stay similar
Marginal calls feel different
The narrative becomes:
“Playoff whistle is different”
Clean synthesis
Officiating doesn’t change as much as the environment around it.
The best way to make our teams "antifragile" is creating depth, in which "redundancy" allows for more rest, better performance at the margins, and a smaller dropoff with fouls, fatigue, injury. The best teams and coaches "evolve" during the second season.
Lagniappe. Learn to use different AI engines for different work. ChatGPT does well (in my experience) with systems, analogy, and philosophy. Gemini and Pilot (products from Google and Microsoft) work especially well with components of their ecosystems. Claude.ai (from Anthropic) has a reputation for superior writing and editing.
What we "get" from AI (a 'hallucination') isn't always correct and varies widely with the "prompt" - our request for AI information. Here's a three paragraph take on fragility and playoff basketball from Claude.ai.
Taleb's central insight in Antifragile is that some systems don't merely withstand stress and volatility — they actually improve because of it. Basketball, particularly playoff basketball, is a near-perfect laboratory for this idea. Teams that have been battle-tested through adversity during the regular season — injuries forcing role players into expanded roles, losing streaks demanding tactical adjustments, close games requiring late-game execution — often arrive at the playoffs more antifragile than teams that cruised through an easy schedule. The chaos didn't just not break them; it made them better. The 2016 Golden State Warriors, for all their regular-season dominance, were arguably less antifragile than the Cavaliers that year — Cleveland had been forged in difficulty, and when the series got genuinely hard, they had the adaptive capacity to come back from 3-1.
The playoff format itself is an antifragility engine. A seven-game series is specifically designed to introduce enough variance and stress that the more resilient team — not just the more talented one — tends to emerge. Stochastic shocks (a star getting hurt, a referee call shifting momentum, a hostile road crowd) separate teams that respond and adapt from teams that crack. Coaches who are antifragile thinkers — Doc Rivers in his prime, Gregg Popovich, Erik Spoelstra — actually use adversity as information, adjusting schemes mid-series in ways that make their team progressively harder to beat as a series extends. Teams that rely on a single system or a single star are, in Taleb's framework, fragile — one disruption and the whole structure collapses.
At the player level, antifragility distinguishes good players from great ones. Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and Nikola Jokić share the quality of playing better when the game is hardest — when defenses load up, when the moment is biggest, when fatigue accumulates. Taleb would call this the opposite of a "turkey" — an entity that mistakes an absence of visible stress for permanent safety. Fragile players have great regular seasons and disappear in the playoffs (see: countless "regular season All-Stars"). Antifragile players treat the increased pressure of playoff basketball not as a burden but as the very condition that unlocks a higher level of their game. The playoffs don't reveal character so much as they reveal structure — and Taleb's framework gives us a precise vocabulary for what we're actually watching when we see who rises and who wilts.
"Good artists borrow; great artists steal." - Picasso
I'm here for that... Check out Dr. Connolly's 14 Principles
Dr. Fergus Connolly has worked with top organizations across business, military special forces, and sport.
Read his PRINCIPLES carefully and consider how to use them. These three resonated for me:
1. "Protect your attention ruthlessly. Not every distraction deserves a response." (The ability to focus is a superpower.) It works in the classroom and on the court. It's a vital element of coaching and coachability.
We can't "multitask" efficiently. A computer's processor allows it to switch rapidly between multiple tasks. The human brain cannot. That's a reason why sports psychologist Bob Rotella tells golfers not to work on mechanics during competition. Focus on the task at hand.
2. "Win through better reasoning, not louder voices." There's an old saying that "an empty barrel makes the loudest noise." Others have said it well, like Shakespeare:
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5, “It is a tale, Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”
Volume isn't validation.
Learn what to embrace and what to ignore, separating signal from noise.
3. "How you speak to yourself determines your capacity to lead."
The voice we hear most often is our own. Our attitude, choices, and effort flow from our ability to filter and apply from that firehose of information. Nobody can drink from a firehose. Sorting allows us to transform thoughts into action. "I should work out today" becomes "I'm working out when others are not."
Lagniappe. "As a grandfather, I consider it my right and responsibility to dispense hard-earned wisdom, whether it’s requested or not." - General Stanley McChrystal in "Character"
Why can we remember "art" better than "life" sometimes? What inspirational messages do you remember from your playing or coaching days?
One I remember vividly was after a two point loss to the defending state champions. Coach Ellis Lane read us the riot act for about 45 minutes. He told us that we lost because their jerseys said, "LEXINGTON..." and that "the better team lost." The message wasn't that we were losers but that we choked because we didn't believe in ourselves. He told us "WE won't lose to them again."
In the rematch, we crushed them 70-52 at their gym. You could hear a pin drop in the fourth quarter. And in the Sectional Final, we beat them in overtime in Boston Garden. Belief is powerful.
What matters more, the "professionalism" of doing everything the right way - at home, in school, on the court - or artificial injection of connection and confidence?
Coach Mike Krzyzewski of the US Men's National Team asked the team to take a moment to think about what it would be like to stand before the Olympic Final. He told them to reflect on the one person who was most responsible for helping them get to that moment. He dismissed them. When they returned to their rooms, each had their Olympic uniform laid out on their bed. Imagine that moment.
Do pregame "Pep Talks" make a difference? Here's AI input:
The concept of the "pregame speech" is a staple of sports cinema, but in reality, its effectiveness depends heavily on arousal regulation—the science of getting an athlete’s heart rate and focus into the "sweet spot" for performance.
1. The Anatomy of a Great Pep Talk
According to Motivating Language Theory (MLT), an effective talk generally balances three specific types of communication:
Direction-Giving (Uncertainty Reduction): Clarifying the plan. "We focus on the transition game; we stick to the man-to-man defense." This reduces anxiety by providing a sense of control.
Empathetic Language (The "We" Factor): Acknowledging the difficulty of the task and the bond of the team. This builds social cohesion.
Meaning-Making (The "Why"): Connecting the game to a larger purpose or legacy. This is where the "Churchill-esque" rhetoric lives.
2. Is There Evidence It Works?
The short answer is yes, but with a "decay" factor.
The Psychological Boost: Studies in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology suggest that motivational speeches can increase self-efficacy (the belief that one can succeed). High self-efficacy is one of the strongest predictors of athletic performance.
The Physiological Response: A high-energy speech triggers the sympathetic nervous system, releasing adrenaline and increasing heart rate. For sports requiring explosive power or aggression (like football or sprinting), this "up-regulation" is beneficial.
The Over-Arousal Trap: For sports requiring fine motor skills or high concentration (like golf, archery, or even quarterbacking), an intense pep talk can actually decrease performance by causing "noise" in the nervous system and tightening muscles.
3. Sustainability of "Competitive Fury"
Competitive fury is a high-octane fuel, but it has a very small tank.
Biological Limits: The "adrenaline dump" experienced during a high-intensity speech usually lasts between 15 to 30 minutes. Once the initial surge wears off, athletes often experience a "crash" or a period of emotional exhaustion.
Cognitive Narrowing: Intense fury narrows focus. While great for running through a wall, it is terrible for making complex tactical adjustments. If a team relies solely on "fire," they often struggle in the second half when the game shifts from emotion to execution.
The "Habituation" Problem: If a coach gives a "speech of a lifetime" every Tuesday, the brain stops responding. The most sustainable performance comes from intrinsic motivation and consistent habits, not external emotional spikes.
The Verdict
The best leaders—much like Fergus Connolly might argue—don't rely on "fire and brimstone" to create fury. They use the pregame moment to operationalize wisdom: reducing the chaos of the game into 2-3 actionable cues that the team can execute even when the initial adrenaline fades.
I was never responsible for "consequential" pregame messages. What were the most memorable and meaningful messages I gave?
1. To Cecilia Kay (current A-10 player) - "You're the best player I ever coached. It's good that you're moving on to other coaches who can take you further." She became a Boston Globe and Boston Herald "Dream Team" player.
2. To an eighth grade team - "You don't play for me. Don't play for the city, your school, or your family. Play for the girls next to you."
3. After a devastating loss (as an assistant) - "That was unacceptable effort. How you play is how you live your life." About six months later a player came up to me saying, "That how you play reflects how you live you life" stuff really got to me."
4. At a breakup dinner for middle school girls (as an assistant) - "There's a famous quote from a legendary football coach (Amos Alonzo Stagg) asked about his team. "Ask me in twenty years and I'll be able to give you a better answer." So far, so good.
5. Our best player (Samantha Dewey, Richmond, A-10) was out with a family obligation and we were playing a rival in the second game of a back-to-back, having won the first by two points. I asked the girls, "Sam isn't here. Make one more play each, get one more rebound each. Do that and you succeed." A substantial underdog, we won. "One more."
Messages work when they stick. They stick when they're simple, credible, specific, and emotional.
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) April 24, 2026
Lagniappe 2. Chris Oliver shares.
😍 this zone action.
Get the ball into the middle of the zone with ✔️ Pass to wing ✔️ Wing balls screen ✔️ Wing to top pass ✔️ Roller cuts into space pic.twitter.com/sg95KkaGyW
"Make the big time where you are." Don't worry about the next job to the exclusion of doing this one well.
Service separates "theory" from practice. Our "coaching practice" spans a variety of areas - player development, test scores, letters of recommendation, or physical metrics like vertical jump, bench press, or timed mile.
We are judged daily by our character and competence.
Separate ourself with excellence in servant leadership.
Blend Greenleaf's "servant leadership" with core philosophies.
Serve the community.
Model excellence.
Develop new leaders.
As coaches, we are the keepers of the story and an architect for dreams.
That's the same regardless of the venue. Give the kids and the programs our best.
"Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can."
Development is hard. Winning is hard. Do hard better.
Lagniappe. Correcting mistakes separates excellent from good. Great advice from Mike Neighbors.
Coaches: This is simply one of the best coaching ( and leadership) articles I have ever read from my friend @Coachneighbors, the newest assistant of the @DallasWings. I am going to read it three more times today. https://t.co/mguGJE9qIQ via @NYTimes
Change is hard. Most of us stick with the "status quo." Rolf Dobelli in "The Art of Thinking Clearly," argues that relates to "loss aversion." If we change from the standard option and it turns out poorly, then we face regret.
"This is how we've always done it."
"The devil you know...
"Why rock the boat?"
This shows up in a lot of ways, but less so in basketball. When it's not working, coaches and players ask "what's the next option?"
Consider the transfer portal, which effectively created:
Free agency
Shorter development windows
Roster volatility as the norm
One coach says it simplified his life. He just asks a guy he wants, "What's your number?"
The reality is stark. Current Situation (2026): Roster turnover is equally aggressive this week. Programs like Texas (women's team) are already reporting losses of over 60% of their scoring and minutes.
According to Grok, ss of ~7:45 PM ET Tuesday (April 7, 2026), trackers show ~1,600+ Division I men'sbasketball players have entered the transferportal since it opened at midnight ET. Others have reported that over half of men's D1 players are in the portal with the numbers rising.
Chuck Daly was right that players have three concerns:
Minutes - playing time
Role - including shots
Recognition: $
For college athletes in a time of uncertainty, they're taking the risk for the reward now, before the rules change or before rules exist. "The grass is always greener..."
Lagniappe. Challenges are around every corner. Not everyone wants you to succeed...some openly want you to fail. What unseen (to you) obstacles exit? Arrogance. Complacency. Entitlement.
"...you grow up with this sense of entitlement, as if the whole world revolves around you. And…if I wanted to be a better husband, a better father, a better coach, I had to get rid of that type of entitlement.”