Coaching is about relationships. Everyone thinks we have solid communication skills. Often improvement means intent. Examine how we can improve.
Teach our players/students to improve their communication as well. We teach basketball and we teach life skills. Forget "shut up and dribble" in favor of "communicate well and dribble."
1. Up our non-verbal game.
a) Make better eye contact. LeVar Burton reminds us, "the eyes are the window to the soul." Better eye contact shows interest and empathy.
b) Mirroring or "lean in." Demonstrate commitment to the conversation. One researcher found that he could predict the future of a relationship solely by watching video of conversations.
2) Choose better words.
a) "Speak greatness." AND is more positive than BUT. "She's an excellent leader AND there's room for growth" differs from, "She's an excellent leader BUT there's room for growth."
b) Sandwich 'coaching' between praise. "You've played your best ball lately. Let's work on reducing turnovers. Keep growing your game."
c) Be open-ended. "Tell me more" or "Go on," maybe "and then what?"
d) Encourage. "Let me know if you need anything," and "show me how you did that."
3) Tone.
a) FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss reminds us about tone. He sometimes uses his "FM Radio Host" voice to calm communications.
b) Questions often have rising intonation at the end. "That makes sense, doesn't it?"
4) Use emotion. When Coach K was coaching USA basketball, he asked players to think about the one person who most helped their development. When they returned to their rooms, each player found his USA Olympic uniform laid out on his bed. How would that make you feel?
Showing up matters but interest, empathy, and "mutual participation" of dialogue not diatribe separate better communicators.
Lagniappe. Coaches speak publicly. Do better.
- Short story
- Question
- Quotation
- Data or fascinating facts
- Visual opening
The Unseen Hours have constantly made the best of the best who they are and the best part is, it doesn't just work in sports, but in business too! pic.twitter.com/oUeO50UemX
— Alan Stein, Jr. (@AlanSteinJr) February 3, 2024
