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Monday, February 12, 2024

Basketball: "Just One More Thing"


Learn from the great investigators like legendary detective Columbo. He's a big sports fan. The rumpled detective snooping around could make anyone uncomfortable. 

Coach: "I don't want to hear your opinion, Columbo. If I hear any more, I'm going to take this upstairs." 

"This is a murder now...and I kinda figure that's my department." 

Coach: "Murder? It's just a bad record. What do you know about basketball?"

“My wife says I’m the second smartest. She claims there are 80 guys tied for first. Before coffee, I’m up and walkin' around but I’m not awake.”

Coach: "Why do you care?"

“I worry. I mean, little things bother me. I’m a worrier. I mean, little insignificant details – I lose my appetite. I can’t eat."

Coach: "Do you think there's a problem?"

“There’s something that bothers me. I just can’t get it out of my mind...“I’m sorry to bother you, but I just have a few more questions…”

Coach: "I don't answer to you."

“I’m not trying to make you nervous. It’s just my job...details bother me."

Coach: "Our players know what they're doing."

Don't count on that. Don't count on it.

Coach: "I've got a system and I'm a lot smarter than you."

"All my life I kept running into smart people. I don’t just mean smart like you and the people in this house."

Coach: Do you think our transition defense is a problem?

"Why? It's only a dumb theory of mine."

Coach: "Do you think we have a problem with half-court defense?"

"Yeah. Awfully obvious."

Coach: "The coaches and team are working really hard." 

"And you both must be exhausted. I don't know how you do it."

Coach: "Next you'll tell me that turnovers and shot selection are issues."

"I, uh, thought you'd like to know, sir, that, uh, I think that is a possibility, yes sir."

Coach: "Now, you're going to tell me that we don't rebound that well."

"I would tend to agree with that, yes."

Coach: "What do you expect from me, anyway?" 

"I want you to teach me everything you know."

Coach: "You think we're the only team that's struggling?" 

"You see, in my line of work, somebody is always, well, dead. That's the only way to put it. I mean they don't even call us in unless that's what it is, somebody dead."

Coach: "You know something, you're a devious man."

"That's what they tell me."

Every coach goes under the microscope. That's part of the job. And as director Mira Nair says, "you need the soul of a poet and the hide of an elephant to do the job."

Lagniappe. Coaches succeed by creating advantage in skill, strategy, and resilience. Results reflect that. 
Lagniappe 2. Basketball is..."a game of separation."