Life is not a 'zero sum' game. An African proverb explains, "we can go faster alone but farther together." As coaches, work to create more 'relationship wins'.
It's not easy. In post-War Iraq, the "recovery program" sought to increase fairness in energy distribution. The urban hub, Bagdad, got less and the rural areas got more. But everyone was dissatisfied, city dwellers disenfranchised and others feeling they still had inadequate power.
Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream tried to achieve win-win by assuring that top executives were compensated at seven times the average worker.
From Benefitnews.com
Chris Voss of the Black Swan Group, a former FBI hostage negotiator shares a MasterClass on negotiation. "The art of negotiation rests on finding common ground with others, making concessions, and demonstrating emotional intelligence and tactical empathy."
We 'hear' about situations where a player attends a college and he and/or family get compensated beyond "legitimate" expectation. The player benefits and the college benefits. But that tilts the playing field for other teams. Win-win is complicated.
Geno Auriemma said he has heard from dissatisfied families that their daughters should play more. The eleven time National Champion coach asks rhetorically, "whom should I sit so your daughter can play more?" It's hard to rob Pietra to pay Paola.
The Ben Simmons - James Harden trade was designed to create a win for both teams. Early on, Philadephia got the edge with Simmons unable to play. But trade outcomes take time. This reminds me of the market adage, that "in the short term, the market is a voting machine, but in the long run, it is a weighing machine."
Stephen Curry returns from injury, moving Jevon Looney to the bench. GSW gets a future Hall of Famer back full-time and Looney responds professionally, telling the coaching staff that he has their backs. Ego control creates win-win.
Recently I spoke with a coach who preached team play and unselfishness. He shared an experience where his team trailed by a point with under ten seconds remaining. His team passed to an open player whose shot missed. After the game, parents of the star player (who was double teamed) asked why their son didn't get the final shot. "With all due respect, that's not how we play." Even had they won, a parent would have been dissatisfied. No win-win was possible.
As an assistant years ago for my friend, I got to work player development, teach the game, develop relationships with players and families, and didn't make substitutions or impact game management beyond suggestions. That was win-win for me.
Later the Rec Department asked me to take my own teams for a more efficient use of coaching resources. That exposed more players to differing coaching philosophies, which as Metallica shared in MasterClass, was "whatever's best for the project."
Middle ground is available if we choose to occupy it with intent and integrity.
Lagniappe. Player development moment. Coach Castellaw shares.
