As coaches and teachers, we have a primary job to connect with people. David Kantor has made examining communication his life's work.
He describes the mover, the follower, the opposer, and bystander roles. In this brief video, he ironically discusses the vitality of the bystander (who provides perspective). "If you don't have an enabled bystander who can say what's going on, then the system can eliminate the opposer...if the opposer and the bystander are eliminated, then you have a disabled system."
In John Calipari's book, Players First, he discusses the value of a personal Board of Directors. They can help you direct your personal conversation by providing feedback in the bystander role.
Having truthful mentors can help us by providing "performance-focused, feedback-rich" environments to promote excellence, continuity, and/or change when needed. But that starts with candid assessment of one's own self-regulation and communication skills.
Here is a more inclusive article about Kantor's approach.
