Funny Coaching Quotes

Even the most dour coaches or players occasionally share a quotable quote. Some coaches...a bit more...

Weldon Drew: "We have a bunch of great outside shooters. Unfortunately all our games are played indoors." 

Jerry Tarkanian: "In major college basketball, nine out of ten teams break the rules. The other one is in last place." 

George Raveling: "Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass." 

Rays GM Chuck LeMar: "The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level."  

Abe Lemons: "There are really only two plays, Romeo and Juliet and put the darn ball in the basket." 

Bill (Spaceman) Lee: "I don't know what the big deal is about drug testing. Back in our day, we did a lot of drug testing." 

Jerry Sloan: "In my prime, I could have handled Michael Jordan. Of course he would be only twelve years old." 

Greg Popovich: "I asked them if it wasn't too much trouble, if I wasn't being too pushy, if they could execute what we were trying to do. And if it didn't make them too angry, if they also wanted to play some defense on the other end, that would be great." 

Red Auerbach: "He who believes in nobody knows that he himself is not to be trusted."

Doc Rivers: "Winning is like deodorant, when it comes up a lot of things no longer stink." 

Jerry Tarkanian: "The NCAA is so mad at Kentucky that they're going to give Cleveland State another year of probation."

Dean Smith: "If you make every game a life or death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot."