An ocean of difference resides between 'successful high school player' and elite. As a counselor for a couple of weeks at Sam Jones' camp a lifetime ago, I was the exponentially worst player among the counselors (mostly Division I players). That's not humility; it was a fact.
So when I see parents with unrealistic vision of where their athlete is and what they might become (even accounting for 'great kid, great attitude') I want to be able to share their child's status on the size, athleticism, skill scale.
I'm reminded of Alan Williams' book, "Teammates Matter." Williams walked on to Wake, and scored 27 points...in four years. He had scored 51 points in a high school game. I remember scoring 30 (in two games in a week) a couple of times. <Night and day>
What scale might you use? I use a 1-5, with poor, fair, good, excellent, outstanding. It's hard to assess your child because of "endowment bias". Cognitive biases alter our perception of reality. My daughters played high school basketball at 5'11" and with weight training got up to between 165-175 pounds, about 15-20 pounds over their "natural" weight. They could bench over 125 pounds. But I'd consider that just below 'excellent' for size, if considering college basketball (depending on position). When you play against 6'2" girls who are 200 pounds, size matters. So even if you had a 28 and 14 game in high school or 18 rebounds in Boston Garden, that doesn't make you a D1 prospect.
When I saw them play at the AAU Nationals at Wake, I had no delusions...clearly they were in the bottom 20 percent of skill at that level. Ultimately, your skill is 'relative'...averaging a double double in high school isn't an indication of an impactful career at your 'desired' school.
Everyone should love their child. But if you want an objective assessment of their size, athleticism, and skill, you leave your family's and friends' narrower perspective. If you see an NBA team at an airport or walk on an NFL field pregame, you see athletes that bear little resemblance to most people's experience.
Elite athletes are on the far end of the curve because they have measurables on the far end...and generally achieved because of excellent intangibles, too. Coaches aren't here to be dream crushers, but to help you achieve your highest goals within the context of your situation.
