Rejection hurts. We all know the sting. We don't make the team, get into our college of choice, or selected for the dream job. What next?
Dan Pink asks, "how do we de-catastrophize rejection?" He asks us to enlist Professor Martin Seligman's 3 P's.
Don't make it personal. Almost all the players who try out for a school team are unknowns, unless they had an older sibling who played. Sure, several hours of tryouts are small sample size. We always have multiple evaluators, more eyeballs on the talent. It's not personal enough and maybe somebody slips through the cracks.
"This always happens." Don't let disappointment define you. You are not a loser. This time didn't work out. Get 'em next time. Don't traffic in excuses. Be accountable. Don't fall into the attribution bias trap where the officials, playing conditions, or anything else conspired against us.
Edison's 999 misfires making lightbulbs taught him How Not To make lightbulbs. 31 publishers rejected James Patterson's first novel. Jimmy Butler was the 30th NBA choice in 2011 and Kawhi Leonard was 15th in the same draft. John Wooden won an NCAA championship in 16th year of coaching.
Failure is not final. Don't let it become permanent. Stephen King's writing career was going nowhere as a fifth grade English teacher in rural Maine. But he got an idea about a young girl bullied by peers. His breakthrough novel Carrie earned him hundreds of thousands of dollars. "I'm going to make it in this business."
How do we increase our chances of success?
- Do the work. Focus on process ahead of outcome.
- Develop great habits and a consistent routine. "Win the morning, win the day."
- Seek mentors, the only shortcut to success.
- Ask better questions. What can and should I do differently?
- Control your mindset, attitude, and self-talk/affirmations. Study success.
- Communicate better verbally, in writing, and emotionally. Add value.
- Don't just watch video. Embrace it.
Lagniappe: Devin Harris, Cutting Genius from Coach Daniel
Lagniappe 2: from Ron Adams, FIBA Clinic
Lagniappe 3: from Chris Finch, Houston Rockets on a GOOD SHOT
Every player should know, "A good shot works for you, us, and the time and score."
Lagniappe 4: The game frequently distills to 3-on-3 with urgent cutting.
