"Saying the right thing" doesn't just mean political correctness. Let's examine words and tone.
Managing expectations. In 1967, new Red Sox manager Dick Williams said, "we'll win more than we lose." He managed the team not expectations. The perennial bottom feeders made it to game seven of the World Series. Don't preach to the church of "Our Lady of Perpetual Rebuilding." Overdeliver without underpromising.
Truth. Be media friendly without prostrating ourselves. Former NBA coach Kevin Eastman says, "‘The truth needs three things: number one, you got to live it. Number two, you got to be able to tell it. And number three, you got to be able to take it.'" Players have a BS detector.
Chain of command. We can express similar messages in different ways. Do we choose deference, "I have full confidence in the front office" or dismissiveness, "that's way above my pay grade?" Tone can determine our future.
Golden rule. Don't "kiss up and kick down." Power is no excuse for bad behavior.
"Always do your best." One of The Four Agreements, "Always do your best" includes not figuratively throwing a player under the bus. That goes extra for young players with fragile egos.
Oscar Wilde Things. "Friends stab you in the front." No one knows what goes on behind close doors. Publicly, a player may front, "We have a great team" versus privately going up the back stairs to the front office looking to influence the roster.
Leave it on the field. Some players do everything and anything to get on the field. Ronnie Lott had a finger amputated to play in an NFC Championship. Later he said, "We are losing the compassionate side of sports. We're becoming gladiators. If I ever become a coach, I hope I never lose sight of the fact that players are people." Others experience the "Randy Johnson" effect, begging out with a sore ankle against a Hall of Fame southpaw.
"We're playing really well." Good teams take care of the basketball. Good teams contain the ball. Good teams allow few easy baskets. Good teams communicate. Good teams learn to win on the road and beat other good teams.
Perfectly wrong. When leaders err, take ownership. Claiming infallibility in the face of imperfection loses credibility. We make flawed decisions on personnel, strategy, and development.
Walk the walk. Talking about being a good teammate differs from being a good teammate. Good teammates bring energy, positivity, and elevation to teammates. In Teammates Matter, Alan Williams shares how his Wake Forest teammates came to watch him tryout to reclaim his 'walk-on' position.
Lagniappe. You may have heard the expression, "Don't HAVE TO, GET TO."
I ran into a player the other day and gave her a dog-eared copy of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, to help her write better.
Our job is helping people become their best version. Here's an excerpt from Bird by Bird:
“For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die.”
