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Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Basketball: Parents

The old joke says, "What's the perfect job? Coaching at an orphanage...no parents."

Don't be delusional. I coached middle school girls basketball for twenty years (six as head coach) and never met a parent that didn't love their children. Few shared direct criticism. Those came via third parties and I'm sure they had well-founded reasons. 

Every coach, AD, and parent should read Carl Pierson's The Politics of Coaching (TPOC). Coach Pierson shares his forty seasons of coaching experience and versions of parties undermining one other. 

Former Warren Buffett partner Charlie Munger tells us never to underestimate the power of self-interest. Dissatisfaction with coaching starts with love not hate. 

The parallels begin with Chuck Daly's '48', players wanting 48 minutes, 48 shots, $48 million. Restated, satisfaction comes with minutes, role, and recognition. When parents feel their children are shortchanged (by coaches and systems), they sometimes 'fight back'. This is an extension of "The Prime Directive," as every parent wants what is best for their child. Who doesn't? 

Another factor is the high cost of youth sports. When parents invest time and a lot of money, they expect 'return on investment'. That's a big ask depending on the resources invested and the individual athlete. 

"Seniority" also plays into the calculus. Effective youth programs may produce players ready to compete at the high school level sooner. Especially with girls, younger player reach physical maturity earlier. Parents of upperclassmen often feel disenfranchised as talented younger players "displace" their child from what they feel is theirs. They can see young stars as "not having paid their dues." 

As a middle school coach, I motivated players by suggesting that some would be ready to compete at the high school level as freshmen. That feeds into that "competitive cauldron." 

Coaches can be seen as part of the problem in other ways. I never accepted any money for coaching. Some coaches can be seen as "gunning" for high school coaching slots. In TPOC Pierson includes examples where coaches undermined other coaches as they sought jobs. 

Everyone wants to win. Coaches decide for themselves how badly they want to win. At the developmental level, you decide your fidelity to development. 

Developing winning habits, winning attitudes, and winning values matter. How many souls are we willing to sacrifice on the altar of victory? If winning defines your self-worth, coaches do these:

  • Smaller rosters (fewer challenged players)
  • Shorter rotations (more minutes for top players)
  • Higher percentage of zone defense 
  • Higher percentage of full court pressure 
  • More hours of practice
They got better players on the court more often with more practice. That passes for coaching genius. 

Define your level of 'transparency'. Coaching girls, I wanted full transparency. Parents could watch practice and attend pre- and post-game meetings. When transparency is high, few parents chose to be involved. 

All communication went through parents via either email or phone conversations. Emails included what we worked on, where a child was doing well, and where they could improve and suggestions on how. 

With one group, a parent complained her child wasn't learning. Another mother who attended almost every practice said that the teaching and learning opportunities were constant and the complaining either abated or went underground. 

Parents have advocated for their children forever. That's never going to change. Even with the best communication, differences of opinion occur. When my daughters were in high school, they were invited to play on an inner city AAU team. When a few parents of current players objected, the coach (a Black woman) said, "when your daughters play in college, the coach isn't going to care about your opinion." It was a great experience for our children to play on an integrated team, playing top competition from all over the East Coast and in the AAU Nationals. They weren't the stars and learned to compete in their roles. 

Coaching is tough; so is parenting. Choose the Fourth Agreement from The Four Agreements, "Always do your best." 

Lagniappe. Is your press break broken? 

Lagniappe 2. Variety and movement create confusion.  

 




 

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