"Good artists borrow, great artists steal." - Picasso
I stole my father’s model for how to live. I never heard a bad word said about him. He worked hard, didn’t criticize others, and never pressured anyone.
I can’t meet that standard.
Coaching ensures criticism. Somewhere, a parent has said, “He doesn’t know what he’s doing,” or “He didn’t respect my kid’s ability.” Maybe they were wrong. Maybe not. But that’s part of the job.
They say perception is reality. And while that isn’t always true, it feels true to those who believe it. A more accurate mental model might be Korzybski’s: “The map is not the territory.” What others see isn’t always the full landscape.
Coaching asks us to live in both worlds — how things are, and how they seem. That tension is the craft.
1. Demand More
We ask players to leave their comfort zones — to sweat, to listen, to take criticism. Growth isn’t comfortable.
Every practice tests how much discomfort we’re willing to endure to become better. The players who learn to seek that discomfort instead of avoiding it become special.
2. Adopt Truth as a Value
Kevin Eastman says, “Live the truth, tell the truth, take the truth.”
Truth is rarely convenient. It exposes weaknesses. But without truth, teams build on sand. When we tell players the truth — and they learn to take it — everyone gets stronger.
3. Sacrifice
Winning requires doing what we don’t want to do when we don’t want to do it, to achieve what we want when we want it.
Shared vision. Shared mission. Shared sacrifice. These aren’t slogans; they’re survival codes. Teams that avoid sacrifice choose mediocrity.
4. Embrace Hard Conversations
No coach enjoys telling a player she won’t start, or won’t play as much as she hopes. But we owe players honesty wrapped in empathy.
“We value you as a player. You’re improving, but you’re not at a starting level yet. We believe you can get there.”
The “sandwich technique” matters: honesty between two layers of care. Truth without cruelty. Clarity without ego.
5. Hard Work Doesn’t Always Equal Glory
Effort is necessary, not sufficient. The hardest-working player may not be the most talented. Coaches recognize the worker — the kid who wins every sprint — even if the box score doesn’t.
That doesn’t make the effort meaningless. It makes it noble.
6. Positivity Plays
Some players and coaches light up the gym. Pete Carril called them lightbulbs. Others bring quieter value — less personality, more substance.
Players notice both style and substance. So do teams. As coaches, we can shape both — turning "bland toast" into warmth, teaching that enthusiasm and excellence are not opposites.
7. Model Excellence
Players hear everything, see everything, and imitate what they believe we value.
Former baseball manager Clint Hurdle said:
“Lower the bar and you lose the winners; raise the bar and you lose the losers.”
The best programs raise the bar and help everyone reach for it. Standards define culture more than slogans do.
8. Look for the Helpers
Mister Rogers advised children to “look for the helpers.” Every great team has them. They may not lead in stats, but they lead in spirit.
If we only value talent, we’ll miss the glue — the character, empathy, and quiet generosity that make teams endure.
9. Find the Hardest Worker
Sometimes the best player isn’t the hardest worker. When that happens, the coach’s challenge is clear: raise the standard.
Talent sets the ceiling. Work ethic raises the floor. A program’s culture depends on how those two connect.
10. Learn Every Day
Coach Don Meyer kept three notebooks:
-
One for basketball
-
One for general knowledge
-
One for appreciation, which he gave to his wife each year
Learning keeps us humble. Gratitude keeps us grounded. Together, they keep us growing.
Closing Thoughts
My father never coached, but he lived the principles coaches aspire to — humility, service, and integrity.
Coaching exposes us to criticism because it exposes our judgment, our priorities, and our hearts. But it also gives us the privilege to shape others — to demand, to tell truth, to sacrifice, to teach, to model, to learn.
It’s not supposed to be easy.
It’s supposed to be worth it.
Lagniappe. Culture makes our team better, our players better, and ourselves better.
📚 Best Nuggets From Coaching Books
— Mike Jagacki (@Mike_Jagacki) October 5, 2025
This one comes from Win Forever by Pete Carroll.
Before I read it, I thought of “culture” as slogans and standards. But Carroll’s book showed me it’s something much deeper — a system.
Carroll didn’t just talk about culture — he installed it.… pic.twitter.com/MsOwj5xVBY
