We all make mistakes; we can always improve. We care about perception...of others.
From Bevelin, Seeking Wisdom: From Darwin to Munger
Effective coaches trains players to succeed. What influencers sap confidence from players? Influences come from within or externally.
Negative self-talk.
We are our own worst critics. Sometimes we set our expectations too low. Others we set high expectations but fail to do the work required to meet them.
Parental criticism.
The Stoics say to listen neither to praise nor criticism. Parents can inflict withering disapproval. Sherri Coale discussed the player whom the team thought was selfish. "You're not happy unless you're scoring." In a team meeting, the young woman cried, "my father won't talk to me if I'm not scoring." Comparison with other players can exact a toll. We've all overheard conversations we wish we hadn't...woulda, coulda, shoulda narratives.
Teammate influences.
Teammates support or deflate. Hierarchies exist. In Teammates Matter, Alan Williams walked on to Wake. Every player got a numbered black and gold travel bag...except him. The next day he found a bag by his locker, the bag of the star player. He didn't need any trophies.
Cliques abound. I've heard (particularly in women's college ball) where schisms between gay and straight players destroyed a team. Cultures fail. As Kevin Eastman says, "fight for your culture every day."
Sometimes the most spectacular failures occur with hazing. Great teams have clarity about zero tolerance for maltreating teammates.
Coaching negativism.
One player called the culture, "crabs in a bucket." Each individual scrambled to crawl over the others. Verbal abuse and bullying are real. Sometimes it can be fatal. You don't need additional examples.
Players suffer with unexplained role changes and loss of playing time. Loss is embedded at the core of depression and decreased self-esteem. Players deserve communication even when they disagree with the impact of change.
In boys' sport negative video is a core element. UNC Women's soccer coach Anson Dorrance, winner of over twenty national championships, only shows his players positive video. In his book Ten-Minute Toughness, sport psychologist Jason Selk includes mental highlight video in his confidence building process. Know that you can.
Social proof.
Robert Cialdini discussed the power of social proof in his book, Influence. "Cialdini says that since 95% of people are imitators and only 5% initiators people are swayed more by the action of others than any proof we can offer." Think for yourself. Are you going to "pile on" (think sports radio) or think independently?
We choose to build players up or tear them down.
Lagniappe:
"Princeton Offense - Dribble-Ats" #FastDrawArt pic.twitter.com/YXemx2ev0V— Radius Athletics (@RadiusAthletics) September 17, 2018
"Dribble At" work teaches reading defense and execution:
1) Dribble handoff
2) Dribble backdoor cut
3) Dribble cutback and more
