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Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Basketball - Emotional Intelligence and Coaching

"He attended the five-minute Charm School course...and left early." - Nurse Barb Schuler, circa 1987

Coaching is a relationship business - relationships with players and families, peers, and supervisors. Coaches strive to get the highest performance from those around them, helping players to improve and 'reach their ceiling'.

These are just a few points:

That means uncomfortable conversations. "I'm telling you this because I know that you care, I believe in you, and that improving in these areas will help you become more effective." 

Coach Lane would say, "If I stop yelling at you it's because I don't think there's any value to it." That's a metaphorical death sentence. 

Coaches need to listen empathetically. We don't always know the background of a player's personal situation. That also means having a dialogue with players so they feel empowered to share. Problems in school or illness in a family can prevent a player from fully engaging. 

In 1971, we sophomores had a 'double-header'. We won a tough afternoon game against a good team and got blown out by a strong JV team that night. We were gassed. The following day the JV coach ran us for the whole practice...laps, suicides, sprints. I lost respect for him because he didn't diagnose what we needed (press breaking) and took punitive action. Frankly, if parents complained today, he'd probably get "relieved for cause." 

Communication which is "performance-focused, feedback-rich" fosters an environment for competitive advantage. Feedback should be a two-way street. Players and coaches both can improve. 

"What's in it for me?" Emotional intelligence helps us diagnose what is actually happening and the motivations surrounding situations. 

Use emotional intelligence wisely. Our feelings help guide us toward positive experiences and away from negative ones. 

Emotional intelligence helps us act aggressively or to avoid saying or doing something harmful. With exaggerated emotions, some lose self-control. 

A lack of emotional intelligence can result in harmful behaviors such as bullying. Coaches might 'bully' a player by benching her. 

Emotional intelligence helps us "regulate" our feelings. Rather than lashing out, "you're lazy and worthless, an embarrassment," a coach could say, "that was a bad play but that doesn't make you worth less as a person." We've probably all heard, "you're better than that." 

Emotional intelligence helps us to teach. "Everything I say goes for all players. Take shots that are appropriate to the situation." That doesn't single out one player. 

Think about it in other ways:

  • Rod Olson counsels us to speak greatness. "That was good BUT you could do this" isn't as helpful as, "That was good AND you might try doing it this way." 
  • Coach John Wooden 'sandwiched' criticism between praise statements. 
  • A ratio of positive to negative of at least 3:1 is better and with couples 5:1 or more is even better. 
  • We may not choose how to feel but we choose how to react and what to say.
Lagniappe. From ChatGPT, prompt, "please provide the top five highlights from Daniel Goleman's classic, "Emotional Intelligence." 

Here are the top five highlights from Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence:

  1. Emotions Are Critical to Success
    Goleman argues that emotional intelligence (EQ) is more influential than IQ in determining personal and professional success. Attributes like self-awareness, empathy, and interpersonal skills often outweigh raw intelligence in achieving goals and building relationships.

  2. The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence
    Goleman identifies five key components:

    • Self-Awareness: Recognizing and understanding your emotions and their impact.
    • Self-Regulation: Managing emotions, impulses, and adapting to change.
    • Motivation: Inner drive to pursue goals beyond external rewards.
    • Empathy: Understanding and responding to others' emotions.
    • Social Skills: Building relationships, influencing others, and managing conflict.

  3. The Role of the Brain in Emotional Regulation
    Goleman explains how the brain's amygdala and prefrontal cortex interact. The "amygdala hijack" can trigger emotional reactions before rational thought kicks in, underscoring the importance of learning self-regulation to prevent impulsive decisions.

  4. Empathy as the Foundation of Relationships
    Empathy allows individuals to connect with others, fostering better communication and collaboration. It’s essential in leadership and teamwork, where understanding others’ perspectives strengthens group dynamics.

  5. Emotional Intelligence Can Be Developed
    Unlike IQ, which remains relatively fixed, EQ can be improved through practice and reflection. Strategies like mindfulness, active listening, and emotional self-assessment help individuals build better emotional skills over time.

Goleman’s work remains influential, especially in leadership, education, and personal growth, where emotional intelligence is seen as a key to thriving in complex environments.

Lagniappe 2. Training helps lessen injuries. 



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