"You'd rather look good and lose than look bad and win." - Woody Harrelson, White Men Can't Jump
Pat Riley wrote about The Disease of Me. Self-interest derails the innocent climb. This became the Disease of Us. Prima facie evidence is the college admission scandal with poster children Felicity Huffman and Lori Laughlin. Pay to play, not their acting careers, will define their legacy.
Advocating for our children makes sense. We all do. But there's the "Goofus and Gallant" way of doing it. Cheer for our child and for everyone's children.
...from Wikipedia.
In its most extreme form, recall the Texas Cheerleader Mom scandal, where Mom plans to execute the mother of her daughter's rival. In The Politics of Coaching, Carl Pierson shares how established players' parents work to exclude rising freshmen from summer activities. I heard a story about (before a state championship game) parents counseling their child, "get your shots. That's what matters. Show you're the best." At least nobody had to die.
What prompted parents to become so invested in their children's success? Julie Lythcott-Haims explains the transformation, migrating from safety concerns (Adam Walsh), to parent-supervised scheduled play, culture shifts emphasizing self-esteem, and parents taking direct anteambulo functions on college campuses. "In 1990, child development researchers Foster Cline and Jim Fay coined the term "helicopter parent" to refer to a parent who hovers over a child in a way that runs counter to the parent's responsibility to raise a child to independence."
Societal shifts promoting child safety, oversight, and success amidst tough competition changed norms (going to the park) to continuous supervision. It wasn't the kids' fault or truly the parents' either. Circumstances created a New Normal...more parental oversight and intervention.
But some of Riley's Disease of Me principles remained: feelings of underappreciation, jealousy, frustration, and resentment. And behaviors arose to preserve ego and status (making the team, getting playing time, and media recognition).
What solutions can we offer as coaches?
- Educate each other and parents about origins of this real tectonic shift.
- Maintain an open dialogue with parents, players, and administrators.
- Show appreciation for the efforts of players and families.
- Emphasize the contribution of every player to the culture and success of the team. "How does the 12th player on the team feel?"
We won't make everyone happy, but understanding behavioral psychology helps us approach finding better solutions.
Lagniappe: I'm the guy with The Masters polo on our most recent cable sports show with co-conspirator, friend Ralph Labella.
Let’s Talk Sports- @celtics Talk. Here’s a little clip from the new episode. Watch the full show on YouTube @celticsblog @celtics_stats @CeltsLive @CelticsDynasty_ @NBCSCeltics @Celtics_Junkies #Celtics #NBA #Basketball #draftNBA https://t.co/UXnzYcsSxI pic.twitter.com/8mxWmQG8gK— Let’s Talk Sports (@LetsTalkSport13) June 19, 2019
