Be more efficient. Nobody has time to read everything. "Coach the Person Not the Problem" appeared on the radar. Author Marcia Reynolds designs this book ifor life coaches, but much applies to sports. She unpacks the coaching dynamic. We coach people, not robots. Here are annotated highlights from an extensive summary:
- Coaching should be a process of inquiry and not a series of questions – the intent of inquiry to provoke critical thinking. Coaches don't load software into a computer. Work to upgrade the mental and physical hardware to allow the person to figure it out and execute.
- The goal of coaching is to get clients go stop and question the thoughts and behaviors that limit their perspective so they can see a new way forward to achieve their desires. Establish what the player wants. Will their current approach advance those desires? Help them engage a success plan.
- People need to feel seen, heard and valued to have the desire to grow. Is it about me or the player? Give the player a chance to express their concerns.
- When we tell people what to do, we access their short-term memory in their cognitive brain where, the learning is least effective. Advances in neuroscience belong in our arsenal. When players 'automate' actions, it frees up working memory for decision-making and execution. There is no "muscle memory" as everything originates in the brain.
- You influence a change in behavior only when you activate people’s creative minds instead of their survival or analytical mechanisms. Many people 'flee' or shut down (disengage) when events go against them. That hurts their and our desired outcomes.
- A good way to engaging people is to be curious about what they want for their futures or ask what they need right now to overcome challenges and then listen to their responses. Coaching builds relationships based on communication leading to trust and loyalty. Everyone thinks they're a good communicator. All of us fail sometimes.
- What is more useful is to look at what is making the situation a problem they cannot sort out on their own – and more importantly how is their thinking contributing to the dilemmas they are facing. Help players build skillsets to solve problems. "What options might you consider if you were the coach?"
- Many coaches struggle with shifting focus from the problem to the human. There's less 'my way or the highway' but it still exists.
- Set the expectation for coaching - It is important to let them know that you are their partner not their advisor. In medicine we call this "mutual participation." Docs need our partners (patients) to 'buy in' to the solution...lifestyle changes, medications, etc.
- Maintain your belief in the client’s capabilities – you are there to help people see a way forward they couldn’t see on their own. When clients know that you believe in their capabilities, they will be willing to accept the discomfort of vulnerability when admitting to their gaps, biases, fears. Players need to hear that we believe in them and intend to help them execute their strengths and lessen their weaknesses.
- Although summarizing may seem simplistic, when people hear their own words spoken, their ideas and beliefs are laid out in front of them to examine. They then go inwards to reflect – and from that point see a blind spot or inaccuracies in their belief. "What I'm hearing is that you lack confidence in that part of your game. How do you think we can get past that?"
Ask ourselves, what can I do better? How can I communicate better, listen better, and add more value?
Keys:
- Inspire critical thinking.
- Ask players, "what do you want from this experience?"
- Muscles have no memory. We're brain trainers.
- Getting buy-in needs input from both coaches and players.
- Examine how well we communicate and teach.
- Shared vision and shared sacrifice allow shared belief.
Lagniappe. Take a hard look at our organization. Are we developing players and keeping them home?
