Merriam-Webster defines humility: "the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people". My mother had a practical answer, "Nobody is better than you are, but you are not better than anyone else." That doesn't mean others may not be stronger, smarter, wiser, or more courageous, but that doesn't make them better people per se.
If you play or coach (basketball) a lot, then you experience the joy of victory and the suffering of defeat. Along the way, adversity becomes our companion and opportunistic teacher. Adversity shines a harsh light on both small and large mistakes when they change our desired outcome.
We can learn to overcome adversity. The virtue of defeating adversity is resilience. In "Resilience", Eric Greitens writes that humility helps us become resilient. "Humility leads to clarity. Humility leads to an open mind and a forgiving heart. With an open mind and a forgiving heart, I see every person as superior to me in some way; with every person as my teacher, I grow in wisdom. As I grow in wisdom, humility becomes ever more my guide."
To become resilient means accepting 'the work', choosing to confront the struggle, and accepting the accompanying pain. The 'end state' is greater courage, greater strength, greater wisdom, and greater humility.
In settings like refugee camps, the most resilient were those who found purpose by taking responsibility for others, mentoring or caring for others. In Daniel Coyle's "The Talent Code" he shares the secrets of the Spartak Tennis Club, a modest Moscow facility which produces many of the world's elite women's tennis players. The students are taught borot'sya, to fight, with a humbling commitment to fundamentals. The players are taught strokes, not play, for three years.
Humility helps us to accept our role and to value being a better teammate. Humility teaches us to become more coachable, more flexible, and more knowledgeable. Former Navy SEAL T.C. Cummings wrote, "A humble man has the strength of character to realize he does not know all the answers and is not afraid to change direction if he sees things going wrong. He accepts responsibility for his decisions, as well as the decisions of those around him – sharing in the praise, but is accountable for results either way."
Humility isn't weakness, but an important dimension to strength of character. And our character defines what we do and how we respond when adversity arises.
